Although most people think that creating their dossier is frustrating, it's the "limbo" time while you wait for your child assignment that can be the most stressful part of the process.

There's something about the lack of control, now that your part is done, that drives people crazy. Having a dossier to focus on at least gives you some control over when and how the documents get done.

Working with Your Agency

So, what do you do now? It's best to avoid calling your agency every day. Remember, the more time your caseworker spends on the phone explaining to you that nothing has changed since yesterday, the less time he/she can focus on making child placements. More than likely he/she works with a lot of clients, so it's best to ask them when you should call to touch base - every week / 2 weeks / month. It all depends on the program and what's happening at that moment in time. Also, discuss with your caseworker how you are most easily contacted (e-mail, phone number for home/work/cell) and ask if there is a newsletter or internet program update available for waiting families.

Remember, you want your caseworker to be your friend. Someone who will go the extra mile for you if needed. There are those people who will say, "the squeaky wheel gets the oil" and there is a certain amount of truth to it. However, a person can be persistent and nice at the same time. They are not mutually exclusive.

Keeping Yourself Busy

If you can't vent all your stress with your caseworker, what should you do? Actually, there are lots of things. A few suggestions are:

• Study the culture of the country.
• Learn some key phrases in the language - Not just for the child, but also to help you get around (a translator will probably not be available 24 hours a day).
• If you haven't already done so, check with your agency or the Center for Disease Control (http://www.cdc.gov/) to see if any immunizations are recommended for the country you will visit.
• Find an international specialist to review your child's medical when you receive it.
• Find a local pediatrician to see when you return home with your child.
• Check your health insurance coverage.
• If necessary, start looking for part-time or full-time childcare.
• If you have children at home (and/or pets), who will need to be looked after while you are traveling, start making arrangements now.
• Take a child-care class - Even if you have lots of experience with children, it always helps to brush up on the basics. For example, changing a diaper or first aid specific to the age child you will adopt.
• Finish up the last details to make your home more "child friendly."
• Create a list for packing - If your agency gives you a suggested list, review it and personalize it based on your needs/requirements.
• If you have other children, buy some special gifts for them for when you are away and for when you bring the baby home.
• Take a vacation - It may be the last free time you have for years! Don't forget to check with your agency first, you don't want to miss any important dates etc.
• Try to relax and take care of yourself by exercising, learning a new hobby or just making time for the hobbies you already have right now.